Lessons from the fall of Andrew Cuomo — from his daughters
Guest Commentary: Lessons From the Autumn of Cuomo
The editor-in-chief of The Forward reflects on how Andrew Cuomo's daughters can make us all improve parents—and people
Aug. 17, 2021
[Ed Notation: This story was originally published on Baronial 13 past The Forward. Sign up hither to get the latest stories from The Forward delivered to you each morning.]
I tin can't end thinking nigh Andrew Cuomo'southward daughters. I've never met them, I know virtually nothing about them, and earlier final Tuesday I could probably not have fifty-fifty named the three of them without a little aid from Dr. Google. But I'm declaring Cara, Mariah and Michaela Cuomo the most of import figures in the news this week, based on their begetter'southward invocation of them 14-and-a-one-half minutes into his 21-infinitesimal, securely flawed, half-apology resignation announcement.
"In many ways, I see the world through the eyes of my daughters," he said. "I have lived this feel with and through them. I have sat on the burrow with them, hearing the ugly accusations for weeks. I've seen the await in their eyes, and the expression on their faces, and it hurt." He called them his "three jewels," and added: "My greatest goal is for them to accept a improve future than the generation earlier them."
What I've learned since and so (thank you, Google) is that the twins are 26; Cara graduated from Harvard and works equally head of multifariousness for something called Inclusion Summits, Mariah went to Brown and has worked in homo rights and social media.
Maybe most interesting, given the accusations against their father, is 23-yr-sometime Michaela's involvement in the #MeToo movement: At Brown, she was a sexual assault peer educator, founded a group called CUSP: Cultivating Upstanders for Sexual Assault Prevention, and wrote an article warning that survivors tin can be "continuously victimized through institutional gaslighting."
Imagine Andrew Cuomo sitting on the couch with Michaela as the devastating attorney general's report detailing accusations of his harassment and abuse of at least xi women hitting the news.
More recently, she produced "How are we actually," a projection virtually survivors of interpersonal violence; one image of Michaela online shows her with "All the same Not Request four It" written in blackness marker on her upper chest, a declaration that women'south wear choices are never an invitation for unwanted advances.
Imagine Andrew Cuomo sitting on the couch with Michaela as the devastating attorney general's report detailing accusations of his harassment and abuse of at least 11 women hit the news.
Jewish tradition is clear, from the X Commandments down through generations of rabbinic teachings, on the importance of honoring one's parents. Only what of honoring our children? What are our responsibilities to our offspring, beyond having them (exist fruitful and multiply) and the basics of nutrient and shelter?
Our patriarchs and matriarchs were certainly not the best parenting function models, what with all the nonsense in Genesis nearly choosing a favorite kid for birthrights and blessings, not to mention the binding of Isaac. We talk a lot about teaching our children; Andrew Cuomo reminded us that didactics is as much about what we do every bit what nosotros say.
It's another life lesson that has been magnified by the pandemic
One of the side effects of working and schooling from abode has been the inevitable integration of the various elements of our lives, and the distinct strains of our personas. When my kids wander down to my basement office to inquire nigh a snack or a ride, they often overhear me interviewing a job candidate or leading a team meeting or talking to a communal leader or complaining to a customer-service representative. They'll later—sometimes much later—mention something from these eavesdropped moments, something I didn't realize they'd remember and maybe didn't fifty-fifty realize I was maxim.
Information technology's a great mirror back on my beliefs, a check on if I'1000 beingness my best self—the person I want to be for my children—even when I'chiliad stressed or frustrated or overwhelmed. They find if I talk differently to a subordinate or a superior or a stranger. We're not merely role models showing our kids, say, how to "honour thy parents" or practice other specific mitzvot, we're role models in how we work, how we pb, how we live.
This is new for most people, since work used to happen far away and behind closed doors and during fix hours. But it's been true forever for public figures like Andrew Cuomo. He is hardly the first scandal-scarred politician to step bated with a specific apology well-nigh how his behavior hurt his family. And examining how such people parent has long been a legitimate lens into their character.
"God told me I was a feminist when he gave me 3 daughters." – Andrew Cuomo
Maybe I can't terminate thinking about Cuomo'south kids, especially Michaela, because I am the youngest of three girls myself. A few years ago, Cuomo said at a rally for abortion rights, "God told me I was a feminist when he gave me three daughters." It's very like to something I've said frequently virtually my own fairly one-time-fashioned father.
I oftentimes wonder: if he'd had the son he'd then deeply hoped to name after his beloved grandfather, Yitzhak Yehoshua, would there have been different expectations for the boy and the girls around education, Jewish practice, balancing parenting and work? No way to know, of course. What we do know is that he pushed his Orthodox shul to brand infinite for u.s. to have "Bat Torahs" as nosotros turned thirteen, and that nosotros all went to aristocracy colleges and built serious careers and accept taken leadership roles in our egalitarian synagogues.
"My daughters have more talent and natural gifts than I e'er had," Andrew Cuomo said, sounding a lot like my dad. "I want to make sure that society allows them to fly every bit high as their wings will deport them. There should be no assumptions, no stereotypes, no limitations."
Amen to that. But to become in that location, we accept to live that—in public and in individual, whether we are national leaders or line workers just trying to juggle Zoom calls and carpools. We're sitting on the couch, real or metaphorical, with our kids, always. They'll accolade the states when nosotros honour them.
Jodi Rudoren is editor-in-chief of The Forward.
RELATED
Leadership in the time of crisis
Guest Commentary: Why Kobe Matters
Ideas We Should Steal: Daddy & Me
Header photograph by Marc A. Hermann / MTA New York City TransitGuest Commentary: Best Game E'er
mactierdideentele.blogspot.com
Source: https://thephiladelphiacitizen.org/lessons-from-fall-cuomo/